Should We Separate the Music from the Man? A Wedding DJ’s Honest Take on Controversial Artists
As a professional wedding DJ in Sydney, I see a lot of trends — from choreographed first dances to audio guest books. But one thing I’ve been seeing more of lately is couples asking me not to play certain artists. The names that come up most? R. Kelly, Michael Jackson, and Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs.
And look — I fully respect those requests. In fact, I encourage them. If an artist makes you uncomfortable, for whatever reason, they’re not getting played at your wedding. No questions. No judgment. I’ll always support my couples in creating a safe, joyful space.
But it raises a deeper, more uncomfortable question — if we’re removing some artists for their behaviour, should we be removing more?
The uncomfortable truth
The music industry has a long and disturbing history of sexual misconduct, abuse, assault, and exploitation — and not just from performers, but also producers, label execs, and managers. Some of them have been convicted. Others settled lawsuits quietly. Many were never charged at all.
But they’ve all profited. And so has the industry.
Let’s take a few examples:
Dr. Luke, producer of hits for Katy Perry, Doja Cat, Kesha, settled a lawsuit with Kesha after she accused him of sexual and emotional abuse. The songs he produced have generated hundreds of millions in royalties.
Phil Spector, who worked with The Beatles and Tina Turner, was convicted of murder, yet his production work still earns money to this day.
Russell Simmons, the man behind Def Jam, helped launch careers of hip hop royalty. He now lives overseas after multiple assault allegations, while still benefiting from the empire he helped build.
And it’s not just producers. Even iconic legends like David Bowie, Elvis Presley, and Mick Jagger have documented relationships with underage girls — yet their music is still played, streamed, and celebrated.
So where do we draw the line?
This isn’t about defending anyone — I’m not here for that. It’s about asking an honest question that society, especially the wedding and events industry, needs to start grappling with:
Should we separate the art from the artist?
Or are we — often unknowingly — still dancing to music built by men who used their power to exploit others, while making millions doing it?
What this means for your wedding playlist
When you’re putting together a Do Not Play list, you have every right to include artists that don’t align with your values. As your DJ, I will always honour those boundaries.
But if we really want to look deeper, it’s worth considering that many songs that fill dance floors today are tied to people with dark histories. It’s a complicated, emotional subject — and there’s no one-size-fits-all answer.
As a feminist, a music lover, and someone who takes their role at weddings seriously, I think it’s time we had these conversations more openly.
Not to cancel everything — but to choose consciously.
Because music is powerful. And so is accountability.
Looking for a DJ who gets it?
If you’re planning your big day and want someone who respects your values, prioritises your requests, and actually listens — I’d love to chat. Hit the button below to book a call.
